Loss Without Regret

I lost you when we were kids

I was glad we were together again

Since we got back in touch as old brothers did

Making happiness surge around us in that old lane

With tremendous pride I stood by your side

Despite the vicious things I knew about you

Holding my stand unshaken even by high tide

Believing your lies blindly to be true

It was indeed awfully hard for me to believe

When you were determined to make me grieve

Being foolish to read my mind without a clue

To find nothing except my disgust about you

When the whole world was sleeping sound

You despised me sneaking from behind

It was terribly hopeless to trouble my mind

To think what was in you against me, so profound

You loathed me with shots of stabbing words

Without having an idea of what I am

And you're also the most unqualified man

To think of me as being absolutely absurd

I honestly don't regret myself

To lose a friend like you

But I'm painfully ashamed of myself

To think I was friends with you

Your betrayal was deliberate

By misusing my trust carelessly

Now I'll be foolish if I'm considerate

And feel for someone so unworthy

You will never be forgotten

To remind me of your shame

You will always be unforgiven

And I'll never be the same again

Shantaram

How often do you come across a book that presents philosophy put into practice or reality? I came across only one. That too by accident. Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts. Probably the only happen-to-read for sometime on philosophy of life. I wasn't aware that it depicts this genre as it is expressed in a realistic fashion. It is said and I also believed that most of the events in Shantaram are real. And it describes about a man - an escaped convict, a drug addict who lands in Bombay without an objective. Then coincidentally he gets involved with Mumbaikars, experiences life of Bombay for more than five years, falls insanely in love with his dream girl, becomes a gang member of Mumbai mafia.

Some of you who haven't visited Mumbai, this book describes the city in a grand fashion. Leopold's Cafe and it's regular customers, where he finds the girl of his dreams. He visits a Northern village of Maharashtra, Sunder Village and learns how affectionate and hospitable people are. You'll also get to know how the title of the book is derived. Then comes his life in a slum. I initially thought why did he ever move to a slum. You know its the shitty place and a disgrace to the city. But, he describes the sweetness of its environment and its dwellers. The eternal bond he develops with its innocent and down-to-earth people is so vividly explained that you will fall for them. Remember, all the descriptions are from the eyes of a foreigner.

The struggle for survival of torturous & brutal life in Arthur Road prison is so deep with inhuman people and bloody environment which made me get into his shoes to feel his agony. He almost died there. The cell mates helped him survive by sharing their food despite enduring beatings from overseers. He is later rescued by Don of Bombay. Here comes the life in the underworld. The book clearly explains illegal businesses involved in it. This is one of the reasons that will make me read selected passages and chapters of it. He explains about black market currency operations and counterfeiting passports and how dangerous these businesses are that makes men absorbed in them vulnerable to death. This is also the same reason which makes me think the book is only suited for adults. Because everyone in the world doesn't understand the hero in this book does all these things just to mask the guilt of leaving his family and close friends who care for him the most. Meanwhile, he gets a chance to work in Bollywood movies as an extra. He also gets a chance to have a glimpse of Chunky Pandey on the sets of Paanch Paapi.

Another important reason which touches my heart every time I read this book is the world of romance detailed in it. It... what do I call it... as my co-worker said, provides three dimensional picture of a mind of a man when a he thinks about his best woman. It also provides a spectacular view of romance between lovers in each others' arms. I am sure there will always be a pleasing smile on your face when you read through romantic passages throughout the book. Not to mention again that I have bookmarked all these pages and chapters. I must say I got to read them again and again to bring me back to high spirits.

The last part of the book narrates about his voluntary involvement in mission Afghanistan. I believe this is the  boring part in the entire well written saga. I thought it would have been nicer if the story was cut short to skip this portion. After surviving the war, he returns to Bombay and finds the mafia council is restructured since many of its prominent men died in the war and in other conspiracies.

Overall, it really is a good read. The proverbial quotes in Shantaram are so insightful that makes me ponder over them again and again. If you are looking for a book with a strong plot like the ones in Jeffrey Archer's or John Grisham's, then you won't like this one. This is pure and original drama. It has explicit language - so, another reason: not suited for kids. The ultimate question remains: Who does "I" refer in the book? Is it the author himself, I don't know. 

Further reading:
Shantaram - Wkiquote

Solitary Freedom

Sitting all alone on the tree

Born in this world to be free

So gorgeous that I don't have words for it

Filling my eyes with the charm of it

You couldn't be blissful to my eye

If you would be with many of your kind

Be yourself my dear bird - is what I cry

Because you are the only gem of your kind

You won't let anyone harm you

Nor you cause harm to anyone

Because hurt is a thing that is shot from a gun

That cuts your wings and agony takes you through

Built with strong wide wings

That are enough for you to fly high

My eyes caught the flocks in the sky, dancing

But you hardly seem to watch them fly by

Certain that it can bring nothing

Except bitterness and sigh

Always being happy on your own

To be in a state of unknown

Apathetic about how other birds are

Flying high every time to reach a new star
Eyes shining brightly against sun rays of Spring

Painting the deep blue sky with wide spread wings